Walking on Sunshine and Teacups with Morihei Ueshiba


Morihei Ueshiba is arguably one of the finest martial artists to have ever lived, as the founder of Aikido he spent almost every day of his life making non-broken bones an endangered species. When Ueshiba scratched his nose, his nostril hairs tapped out just to be sure and when he yawned the sun stopped shining because it thought he was threatening it. But by far one of the coolest facts about the diminutive master of slapping people in the grill is the time he punched gravity and logic in the dome just because he could.

Now Morihei was really into the idea of “Ki” and the belief that controlling it could give one superhuman powers that doubled as party tricks. In his prime, AKA any time he was punching, he was reportedly able to throw a dozen men across the room without breaking a sweat and could stand steadfast while 4 burly men tried to push him over.

Morihei claimed all of this was due to his masterful control over his own Ki, since we’re not sure if “Ki” is a colloquial term for “balls” we have to agree with him. However, along with being able use Ki to make his blows more powerful and his body more resistant to injury, he could also use it to make his body lighter.

And his beard that much fluffier.
And his beard that much fluffier.

When challenged to prove this, Morihei asked volunteers to fill dozens of fragile teacups with boiling tea, he then raised himself onto the teacups and walked across them like he was Michael Jackson on an air hockey table. When he stepped down, not a single cup had been damaged, something we feel had less to do with Morihei’s skill and more to do with him only being 5ft 2. Then again, we wouldn’t let him hear us say that, the only thing worse than ghosts are ghosts who can punch your kidneys through your throat.

Luckily for us, Morihei was noted to be a very gentle and soft spoken teacher, as long as you did what the hell you were told. Those who refused to heed this warning of not angering Morihei’s biceps often ended up being thrown through a wall. That’s not hyperbole, Morihei literally┬ádid that if his students disobeyed him, because fuck them.