For a lot of people it’s not Christmas until Michael Caine has angrily stormed his way through what many consider to be the quintessential adaptation of Charles Dickens’ classic Christmas chronicle, The Muppets Christmas Carol. A movie Caine only appeared in as an excuse to give his daughter something to watch starring him where he didn’t hurt someone. At least not with a shotgun.
It probably won’t surprise anyone reading this to learn that Hollywood is just a teensy bit racist. Hell, we ourselves have talked about the fact they once blacklisted an Asian dude for being so handsome that horny white women couldn’t deal or how known legend Ke Huy Quan basically quit acting for 2 decades because he simply couldn’t get any work that wasn’t racist or demeaning as fuck. But today’s story is so bizarre that even Hollywood has tried desperately to distance itself from it. Using CGI to Asian up Scarlett Johansson.
The American Pie series centers mostly around the antics of a bunch of goofy dudes on their quest to lay as much pipe as humanly possible despite the disadvantage of looking like Jason Biggs. While many of the principle actors saw great success following the film, only one can claim that it directly resulted in them getting like, so laid. Jennifer Coolidge. AKA, Stiffler’s Mom.
Army of Darkness is a comedy horror film where Bruce Campbell Bruce Campbell’s harder than he’s ever done in his career before or since and spends a not insignificant amount of the film’s runtime punching skeletons. Skeletons director Sam Raimi kept stealing the effects crew because he wanted Bruce Campbell’s world to be all skeleton all the time.
As cult classics go Thirteen Ghosts has pretty much everything needed to be considered a classic. A premise cheesier than foot thick pizza, terrible special effects and Matthew Lillard over-acting in a pair of sex goggles. Weirdly, despite seeming like a cheap remake of a campy 60’s movie a lot of work when into realising the film’s eponymous ghosts. Not that any of that made it into the movie.