That Time Luke Cage Beat Up Doctor Doom, Over $200

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In three days, Luke Cage also known as Power Man, but better known as a that beautiful piece of hewn onyx that eye fucks you every time you log onto Netflix, will have his own show. While we have no real idea what will happen in season 1 of the show, it’s definitely not going to contain arguably the best thing the hero ever did, beating up Doctor Doom for $200. 

First though a run down of Luke Cage’s powers for anyone isn’t familiar with the hero beyond his ability to smoulder intensely while staring into the middle distance.

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Basically Cage’s main power is his skin which is for all intents and purposes, fucking indestructible, making Cage largely impervious to all injury and most mean words. In addition to this, Cage is also superhumanly strong to the extent he can deliver testicle-shattering dropkicks to entities as strong as the Juggernaut.

take-it

This all said, Cage is largely considered a “street level” hero which means that he almost exclusively deals with the kind of criminals Spider-man doesn’t give a shit about. Except for that time he was hired by Doctor Doom to punch a bunch of defective robots he’d built into scrap for $200. Then Cage was all like “yeah, I’ll take money from a magic, wizard dictator!”

Doom, despite being the unquestioned ruler of an entire fucking country, decided to stiff Cage on the payment because, as we’ve discussed before, Doctor Doom is a huge dickhead.

fuck-your-rules
Case in point.

Cage, rather than considering the whole ordeal a learning experience and going about his day, decided that he really didn’t like being ripped off and set about making Doctor Doom pay his fucking bill. To get around the obvious stumbling block of Doctor Doom being in another country that he owns, Cage approaches the wizard dictator’s biggest enemies, the Fantastic Four, and asks to borrow their jet. Something they immediately agree to because they kind of want to see someone take Doom down a peg.

Cage then flies all the way to Latveria and punches his way into Doctor Doom’s castle, much to the dictators surprise who is still trying to figure out why he’s getting reports of a muscular black man flying the Fantastic Four’s jet in his country’s airspace.

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“It had to be you because we all know nobody in the Fantastic Four is black!”

As you can see in the image above, Cage ignores Doom and simply states that he wants his fucking money, prompting to Doom to incredulously ask why the hell he came all this way for $200 before threatening to backhand his dick off.

"Really, man?"
“Really, man?”

Doom then tries to ward off the giant angry black man he owes money to by electrocuting him, which works about as well as you’d expect on the guy with indestructible skin. 

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Cage then proceeds to punch Doom in the face as hard as he can for about 20 minutes until he does something no hero had ever done before at that point in time and cracks his magical, god-tier armor that has survived hits from the Hulk before. Doom relents and partly because he’s impressed, but mostly to stop Cage punching him in the face, pays him his god-damn $200. Because comics in the 80’s were amazing.