That Time Britain Applauded a Grown Man Punching a Fictional Character

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With the exception of Elmo and his posse, fictional characters created solely to entertain children are usually all kinds of annoying. So it brings us great pleasure to tell you the story of the time in 1994 a British guy punched a guy dressed as one of those character right in the fucking face.

That character was Mr Blobby, who if you’ve never heard of him, can be described with the following image …

His eyes aren't supposed to look like they follow you around the room but they do anyway.
His eyes aren’t supposed to look like they follow you around the room but they do anyway.

If you’re thinking, “that doesn’t explain anything”, that’s the fucking point Mr Blobby was a short-lived joke that got way out of hand. Initially conceived as part of a candid camera prank for a popular British TV show, the idea was that Mr Blobby would be presented as the main character of a non-existent children’s TV show on which they’d convince celebrities of the day to appear. The joke would be that the guy in the Mr Blobby costume would act like a colossal dickbeard the entire time, intentionally going out of his way to antagonise the celebrity who’d volunteered their time to educate children because it was funny.

The bit ended up being quite popular and when the cat got out of the bag that Mr Blobby wasn’t an actual children’s TV personality, it was retired. However, Mr Blobby himself proved to actually be inexplicably popular with actual kids despite the fact he was designed to be as off-putting and terrifying as possible. So the producers decided to keep him around a make a number of painfully unfunny sketches showing him trying and failing to do normal shit.

There is no god.
There is no god.

Despite nobody finding him funny, My Blobby’s popularity continued to rise through the early 90’s, culminating in the release of a Christmas single, which of course shot straight to number one. It’s at this point we should mention that Mr Blobby could only say the word “blobby” in a terrifying, digitally altered voice that sounded like the version of Siri Satan would have on his iPhone.

Mr Blobby got toys, books and even a fucking amusement park that never made any money, closed down shortly after opening and was quickly taken over by drug addicts who used it to hold illegal raves. We’re not making any of that up.

The real problem for most people though was the Mr Blobby was just really annoying. If you want an idea of just how annoying, just consider for a moment that he was often called “Britain’s answer to Barney the Dinosaur”.

"I saw the face of God and it was crying."
“I saw the face of God and it was crying.”

As we already mentioned above, Mr Blobby’s whole thing was being a clumsy awkward buffoon who couldn’t do anything right, which kind of gets old really fucking fast. Like on the show he was introduced in, Mr Blobby made countless public appearances where he’d trip over himself, get just all up in people’s personal space without asking and generally act like a total shithead, something that isn’t automatically made okay because you’re wearing a costume (yes, even if you’re dressed as Deadpool).

In 1994 during one such appearance the Mr Blobby finally went too far when he threw a 6 year old girl’s birthday cake on the ground. The girl’s father responded by leaping through the air, mounting the dumpy pink dipshit MMA style and raining haymaker after haymaker down on his face as the crowd cheered, presumably as the guy inside the costume screamed “it was just a prank bro!”.

Mr Blobby was considered so irritating by the British public that this story was actually reported as a good thing, with the father being hailed as a hero for finally calling the character on his shit. Soon after the incident, Mr Blobby stopped being relevant and eventually, he faded from public memory where we’re assuming he’s waiting for his chance to come back like Freddy Krueger or something.

"Soon."
“Soon.”