The Soccer Player Who Fouled Someone in 3 Seconds


Considering we’re smack-bang in the middle of a World Cup, we felt we’d share one of the more interesting stories from the world of Soccer, the time a player was booked after just 3 seconds of play. 

To put that in perspective, in the time it has taken you to read this far into this article, the foul had already been committed 3 times over. The player in question was a guy called Vinnie Jones, a man so tough he can literally open beer bottles with his eyes.

He’s like the English version of Danny Trejo.

Okay, so that GIF is from a movie Jones once appeared in called Eurotrip, but we’re still going to hedge our bets and guess that he’s done that at least once in his life before, because seriously, the guy is one tough mofo.

Though today Jones is mostly known for appearing on TV and in movies as a hard man who punches people half to death for looking at him sideways, during the 80’s and 90’s Jones was a soccer player, infamous for his inability to give even a shadow of a shit.

This is exactly what it looks like.
This is exactly what it looks like.

Yes, that’s Vinnie crushing a man’s plums with his bare hands to prove a point, amazingly that’s one of the least vicious things he did on the pitch.

Perhaps the most controversial foul in Jones’ entire career was the time he was booked for a foul in less time than it takes Superman to take a dump, something he accomplished by running towards a player he decided he didn’t like (an unlucky Sheffield United player called, Dane Whitehouse) at full sprint before the whistle had even blown. Literally only a few seconds after the match had started, Jones had socked Whitehouse, for which he earned a yellow card.

A few minutes later, Jones went right ahead and tackled the same player, earning him an immediate red card.

To date, the only player to ever receive a faster booking was a guy called Lee Todd, who got a red card after an astonishing two seconds, when he said “fuck me that was loud” in response to the referee blowing the whistle right near his ear. Apparently the referee didn’t blow the whistle that loud because he heard Todd’s outburst and sent him off.

However, we’re still going to say that Jones’ booking was more impressive because he was physically running as fast as he could towards an opposing player with the intention of causing him serious harm before the match started and he only got a yellow card for it.

You can watch the foul in all its glory, here.