If you love Christmas at all, you’re going to love Jonathan Meath. A man who grew a beard as white as snow and used it for good instead of evil, because literally the only other alternative in that situation was becoming either Gandalf or Dumbledore.
Though the world today knows Jonathan Meath as that-guy-who-really-looks-like-Santa, he actually enjoyed a very successful career in the entertainment industry prior to donning the red fuzzy suit. Jonathan’s creative career involved working for entertainment powerhouses like MTV, CBS and PBS, and over the years he’s had a hand in several shows you’d recognise from your childhood so hard you’d send him adoption papers asking if he’d be your dad. Hell at one point he even worked for The Jim Henson Company, for which he produced beloved children’s show, The Wubbulous World of Dr. Seuss and he personally produced over 200 episodes of Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? because apparently when Jonathan gets to Heaven he wants to go in through the VIP entrance in a solid gold limo paid for with the happiness of children.
Throughout his life Jonathan had always had two distinguishing features, a pot belly and a beard that we presume can fire lightning bolts when he’s angry, as Jonathan grew older and his beard began to show patches of white, he noticed that children kept mistaking him for Kris Kringle. Realising the huge burden he’d just had placed on his shoulders by resembling a man children the world over love and respect. Jonathan immediately set about turning himself into the perfect Santa so he’d never let any of them down.
First Jonathan put on a Santa suit his wife had bought for him a little while earlier, it of of course fit perfectly because Santa is magic. Then, using various hair products, Jonathan styled his beard and moustache into a mountain of snowy white face fuzz you could lose an afternoon in. Finally he opted to keep his pot belly, feeling it made him into a more “organic Santa” and vowed to embody the spirit of Christmas for the rest of his days.
Though Jonathan does indeed profit from his likeness when Christmas rolls around (because why wouldn’t he?), his dedication is year round, the man lives and breaths the lessons of Santa Clause. Jonathan has always maintained that being Santa is a huge responsibility and he keeps up his facade in public whenever children are present. Even more amazingly, Jonathan has forayed into the online world so even the most tech savvy child knows that Santa is always there, always watching and always keeping tabs on them. He even maintains a Facebook profile, meaning yes, you could add Santa on Facebook!
Seriously, wanna know where we got the picture for this entry? Jonathan himself uploaded it to Wikipedia for anyone to use, complete with a link to his personal email address if people want a better version. And that’s the image we want to leave you with, a man who looks exactly like Santa uploading a selfie because no real photographer could ever capture the magnificence of his glorious beard, moustache combo without catching fire.
Pictures courtesy of MeathMedia, source.