The Hulk’s Weakness is Hilariously Adorable


The Incredible Hulk is without question one of the most terrifyingly powerful entities in comic history with a list of feats so impressive they’d make Superman tempted to edit his own Wikipedia page. That said, The Hulk has a particularly hilarious weakness, puppies. 

As many of you are probably already aware, Bruce Banner turns into Hulk whenever he is angry and as Hulk his strength is effectively unlimited. That’s not us using our trademark hyperbole by the way, comics have clearly established that there is no conceivable limit to Hulk’s strength. In other words, he has the potential to be quite literally the strongest being in the entire Marvel Universe if he’s sufficiently pissed off and he could theoretically tear reality a new asshole and punch the Earth in two if someone annoyed him enough by shitting on his doorstep or putting gherkins in his Big Mac or something.

Because Hulk only gets stronger the more he is hurt because being hurt pisses him off, he is notoriously hard to harm let alone kill to the point that even his fucking eyes are bulletproof and he’s survived the kind of stuff that would destroy Wolverine’s Nokia. Even when he’s hurt, he possess a healing factor so efficient he can grow back all of the skin on his body by flexing!

He does the same thing to grow back his pants.
He does the same thing to grow back his pants.

In short, stopping Hulk with sheer brute force is akin to trying to stop a blender with your dick, it’s pretty much suicide unless you happen to have a weapon strong enough to puncture steel. The only real way to stop The Hulk that doesn’t require weapons that could level a continent or balls that could smother Australia is to calm him down and the comics have introduced a number of ways to accomplish this. One of the most common is to inject Hulk with an adrenaline suppressant which though effective doesn’t always work since the Hulk’s skin is almost impossible to penetrate once he reaches Chris Brown levels of angry.

The other way to calm Hulk down is to expose him to something that doesn’t make him angry and in the comics and indeed the films, this is usually accomplished by bringing in Bruce Banner’s on-off paramour, Betty Ross. However, there is something Hulk loves just as much as, if not more than Betty Ross, puppies.

According to several comics, the Hulk has a particular soft spot for children and puppies and it’s noted that he would never knowingly hurt them, since in his eyes they’re innocent and kind of awesome. To quote Hulk himself, “HULK DOES NOT SMASH CHILDREN” and to quote his more verbose alter ego Bruce Banner, “the Hulk loves puppies”.

In fact in the comic Indestructible Hulk #1, S.H.I.E.L.D uses a box full of puppies to force the Hulk to transform back into Bruce Banner, leading to perhaps the single greatest panel in comic history.

This is how we want to die.
This is how we want to die.

Yes, that is a picture of The Hulk, a being so powerful he could rip off your arm and use it to knock a satellite out of orbit, laughing like an idiot as hundreds of puppies climb all over him presumably while shitting just everywhere. Boy do we hope a scene exactly like this happens in the Infinity War movies, just to see the behind the scenes extras on the Blu-Ray where Chris Hemsworth is playing with them all.