Blog Page 2

Batman is shit scared of Wonder Woman

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Batman is a character so cripplingly paranoid he has famously devised methods of killing every single one of his Justice League allies, including, rather amazingly, himself. However, this was rectoned with the New 52 reboot of the DC universe which instead established that Batman has plans to kill every single one of his allies, except Wonder Woman, who he is fucking terrified of. 

Yuri Gagarin’s tree is the biggest

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The field of space travel is one ostensibly entrenched in the scientific method and you’d assume that everything leading up to a space launch would be boring, clinical and exceedingly complicated. However, as a large tree owned by Yuri Gagarin proves, that isn’t quite the case. 

That time Marvel argued in court that the X-Men aren’t human

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For almost their entire comic history the X-Men have been defined by their seemingly never-ending struggle to have people acknowledge their humanity and stop calling them freaks just because they can fire lasers out of their eyeballs. An idea Marvel themselves shit all over in the 1990’s to save like 5% on their taxes. 

That time Adele’s ex wanted money for being a shitty boyfiend

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The singer Adele has had a pretty stellar career that has seen her topping album charts, winning armfuls of awards and even singing a song so hauntingly beautiful it made the ever-present symbol of British stoicism, James Bond, cry like a little girl. She also, apparently, owes her entire career to a shit-ass boyfriend. At least according to him. 

Budget concerns put pterodactyls in the background of Citizen Kane

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There’s not much we could say about Citizen Kane that hasn’t already been said before so we’re going to avoid the usual rigmarole of washing Orson Welles’ balls and just say it’s a pretty good film and instead focus on the fact that, due to budgetary concerns, it is apparently set in a world where dinosaurs still roam the Earth.