With the exception of Elmo and his posse, fictional characters created solely to entertain children are usually all kinds of annoying. So it brings us great pleasure to tell you the story of the time in 1994 a British guy punched a guy dressed as one of those character right in the fucking face.
El Santo was a lucha libre wrestler famed throughout Mexico for his steadfast refusal to ever remove his mask in public. In a career spanning nearly 50 fucking years, El Santo removed his mask only once, after he retired before near-immediately dying of a heart attack.
Without any sort of hyperbole we think its safe to say that Arnold Schwarzenegger was arguably dealt one of the worst hands of any actor in Hollywood right now. Born into a dirt-poor family living in a tiny Austrian village that was still recovering from WW2, Schwarzenegger grew up in a house that didn’t have a fully functioning shitter for a decade. Yet despite this, he went on to become one of the richest, most powerful and most recognised men on the face of the planet, thanks in part, to his ability to hustle like a motherfucker.
You have to admit that for a dumpy Italian plumber who walks around wearing crappy red overalls most of the time, Mario has some pretty high standards. As it turns out, Mario’s first girlfriend is actually doing much better than his current one (who remember, is a fucking princess) seemingly just because she no longer had to put up with his shit.
For the first time in our sporadically updated series detailing the adventures of people who were born without a fuck-producing gland in their brain the subject of the article is an animal. Specifically Stoffel, a honey badger who has been called an “ambassador for his species” due to his astonishingly blase attitude and penchant for escaping his enclosure.