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That Time a Company Paid a Comedian To Shit All Over Their Product

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If you listen to podcasts online you’re probably aware that like, 3 companies pretty much sponsor everyone. Before every podcaster was shilling the hell out of Lootcrate though, a company called Bulldog sponsored a comedian who proceeded to use the money given to shit just all over their product.

Becoming a Knight Meant Being Slapped in the Face

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Back during medieveil times being a knight was the shit. You got free land, serfs to tend it and all the buxom wench booty you could handle. But one, lesser known aspect of becoming a knight is that to attain this lofty position, you had to take an iron-plated backhand to the jaw.

Wesley Snipes is Pretty Much Blade

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With rumor constantly circulating that Wesley Snipes is in talks with Marvel to reprise his role as Blade, the Marvel anti-hero who punches vampires to dust, we thought it’d be fun to talk about how Snipes is probably the most qualified person alive to play Blade. If only because he basically stayed in character the entire time he was on set for all three movies.

Disney Doesn’t Like Deadmau5’s Mouse Helmet

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Deadmau5 (pronounced deadmouse) is an electronic musician and DJ who always performs while wearing a big-ass plastic helmet designed to look like a mouse. A helmet that just so happens to bear a striking resemblance to a certain mascot for a soulless corporate entity called Disney, who attempted to sue Deadmau5 for trademark infringement in 2014, which didn’t exactly go well. 

China’s Army Doesn’t Punch Bricks in Half Anymore

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It’s estimated that China currently has one of the largest and best equipped armies on Earth with over 4 million soldiers and enough missiles and bombs to put a sizeable, dick-shaped dent in the moon. Also each of their soldiers can also punch a brick clean in half. Or they could until the Chinese government decided that training its soldiers to slap concrete to dust wasn’t an effective use of its time.