Blog Page 2

The DC Character Who Can Teleport Via Cigarette

0

Swamp Thing is a DC character who has pretty much the same backstory as Shrek in that he’s green, likes onions and is largely motivated by his desire to get people the fuck out of his swamp. Unimaginably power thanks to his connection to, The Green, Swamp Thing boasts total and complete control over all plant life on Earth allowing him to, if he wants to, teleport via cigarette.

That Time Marvel Didn’t Train The Best Fighter in the MCU how to Fight

0

Within Marvel canon the Immortal Iron Fist is regarded as one of the singular finest hand-to-hand, foot-to-dick and every other combination of limb to major extremity or weakpoint combatant you can think of. In the movie universe based on the comics however, he’s seemingly incapable of knocking out a wank, let alone a minimum wage earning goon on the villain of the week’s payroll. Something that has a lot to do with the fact nobody wanted to train the actor playing him to convincingly throw a half-decent punch.

That Time They Made an Actor Literally Wear Another Guy’s Face

0

Contrary to reputation as one of the most beloved films of the 1980’s, Back to the Future was reportedly a fucking nightmare behind the scenes. With the sticky finger of blame being pointed squarely at actor Crispin Glover who was apparently such an gargantuan wang behind the scenes, they wrote scenes into the sequel that would give them an excuse to torture him and then made another actor wear his face when he was ultimately recast.

That Time Mission: Impossible Paid for Someone to Guard Some Fake Fish

0

At this point in time the Mission: Impossible series is less a sequence of movies that slowly ramp up in scale and scope and more a cry for help from actor Tom Cruise as he literally throws himself headfirst into a seemingly never-ending series of life threatening situations to prove how big his dick is. Curiously, despite each film getting a bigger and bigger budget, the series’ most dangerous stunt happened in the first film and necessitated the hiring of a guy tasked with doing nothing but watch a tank full of fake fish.

That Time Marvel Taught a Guy Playing a Fish Man How To Swim

0

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever is a film that centres primarily around the conflict between techno-futurist Africa and water Aztecs. A decision that resulted in like half the cast needing to learn how to swim, which inexplicably just so happened to include the guy cast to play a character who dropkick a blue whale into low orbit.