That time David Bowie was dinged in the eye by a lollipop


David Bowie was, as we’ve explained before, a fucking legend who didn’t give the faintest whiff of a fart of a shadow of a fuck. For example, did you know David Bowie was once twatted right in the eye by a lollipop midway through a concert in Norway in 2004 and responded by laughing it off. 

Now you’re probably thinking to yourself, being hit in the eye by a lollipop doesn’t sound that bad and ordinarily you’d be right. The thing is though, Bowie was hit in the eye by the sticky end of the lollipop, but the end with the stick. What difference does that make you ask? Well, take a look.

If this photo makes you feel uneasy, just imagine how Bowie felt.

No that image isn’t Photoshopped and yes, that lollipop is stuck right in his eye! But wait, it gets worse because after this Bowie had to stand there while someone pulled it out. At this point it’s hard to decide who to feel worse for at that moment, David Bowie for the pain he felt, or the guy who had to walk on stage in front of thousands of David Bowie fans and remove a shard of plastic from their hero’s eyeball.

Not pictured: Either man’s massive balls.

Now most rock stars would use something like this as an excuse to fuck off home 2 hours early, David Bowie wasn’t most rock stars though. So, instead of being dick Bowie calmly and in the most polite way possible ask the crowd to cut that shit out. The singer then told the crowd that they were lucky they hit his bad eye, jokingly saying that he could still see out of the good one.

You see, Bowie had a permanently dilated left pupil as a result of a teenage fight over a girl, because even as a prepubescent teenager David Bowie fucked all the girls. This left him with impaired vision his entire life. Which is probably why he didn’t mind all that much when someone hucked a piece of candy at his face hard enough for it to become lodged in his retina.

After lightly chastising the crowd for nearly blinding him, Bowie then told everyone watching that he was going to punish them by playing an extra-long set and finishing the concert Becuase David Bowie was just that fucking cool.