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FBI Agents have to wear shit, baggy suits

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According to official FBI materials and interviews, contrary to the image you likely have in your mind of FBI agents spending 99% of their time in an immaculately tailored more form-fitting than a Lycra thong, special agents with the FBI probably spend less than 5% of their time wearing a suit. A suit we feel compelled to mention, an individual agent is heavily advised to have tailored specifically so that it doesn’t fit properly.

You see, while media featuring the FBI in any capacity would have you believe the entire agency is staffed by burly men in black suits and impossibly bitchin’ sunglasses stood around looking all smug with one another …

The truth is that FBI agents have a remarkable amount of leniency in how they’re allowed to dress, at least, relative to what pop culture likes to show. For example, multiple sources we consulted, including the FBI’s own handbook on the matter, notes that the way an individual agent chooses to dress is entirely up to them with only the most outlandish and extreme styles of dress and grooming being explicitly forbade. Largely so that an agent’s individual appearance doesn’t detract from the public’s perception of the FBI being all business all the fucking time.

In fact, it’s specifically noted that special agents are free to use their own judgement when deciding how to dress unless the scope of their given duties specifically require them to wear something else. You know, like if they’re undercover or something.

So what does this have to do with baggy, ill-fitting suits? Well on the occasion an FBI agent has to wear a suit, it is heavily advised that they wear, at the very least, a blazer that is several sizes too large. With some advising that an agent’s entire suit should be slightly too big.

Why? Well in short it’s so that an agent can both disguise the fact they’re carrying and easily access a gun. You know, in case they have to cap a motherfucker trying to rush the president or something. Likewise, a slightly baggy suit affords an agent more freedom of movement in case, again, shit goes down and they have to kick some ass.

A sentiment that while making absolutely perfect sense, is a little disappointing to learn because it means John Wick isn’t as realistic as we thought it was.

That time Furbies Were Accused of being Chinese Spy-Bots

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For anyone fortunate enough to not remember or have had to live through the cultural graveyard known as the 90’s, you may not be familiar with Furbies. A 7 inch tall cluster of fur and electronics that was, for some inexplicable reason, subject to about as many outlandish conspiracy theories than the fucking Moon landing.

That time Dodgeball made fun of its ending, with its ending

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Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story is a film that eschews and lampshades a lot of the tropes commonly seen in comedy movies to the point its own ending is one colossal fuck you to not only the entire genre, but its own audience. Something a lot of people didn’t notice because the original ending was so depressing people still aren’t sure if it was an elaborate joke by the director or not.

How a single scream changed the course of video game history

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Video games have had a, shall we say, chequered history when it comes to their interactions with and portrayals within legacy media. Something that can be, at least, partially attributed to a single scene in the game Night Trap where a lady gets kidnapped by a bin bag vampire with a granny grabber. No, seriously.

The Lord of the Rings movies were lit by magic

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Lighting is an underappreciated and, if a lot of modern movies and TV shows are anything to go by, often ignored aspect of creating media with some shows being darker and more poorly lit than a cira 2010 MySpace profile picture. Which is presumably why when the person in charge of lighting for The Lord of The Rings movies was asked where the lighting for scenes was coming from, slapped that shit down harder than a concrete plunger.