The Alien from Alien Loves Pepsi

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Here at Fact Fiend we’re huge fans of the Alien from Alien because he’s just a little guy trying his best. It’s also a creature that propagates via xeno-human turbo-rape and was designed by a penis-obsessed Swiss art weirdo. What we’re saying is that while the Alien is no doubt iconic and rad as shit, it’d be weird if they tried to sell it to kids, right? Like, really weird. You can probably see where we’re going with this.

Firstly though, if somehow you’re unaware of the very penis-y origins of the xenomorph, as we’ve discussed before, it’s design is near-solely credited to avant-garde Swiss artist H.R. Giger. Specifically this enigmatic piece simply titled, Necronom IV which as you can clearly see, is a literal dick-headed alien space monster.

Now while other elements of the Alien aren’t technically credited to Giger, such as the Queen Alien which was designed by legendary max-level Special Effect Mage Stan Winston and his team, all of these embellishments and details can be directly linked back to Necronom IV and the countless pieces of concept art Giger did for the Alien series.

Anyway, the point we’re trying to make is that disturbing sexually charged imagery has always been a key part of the Alien series. With everything from the design of the Alien to the way they reproduce being specifically designed to invoke the imagery of sex and sexual violence. In particular, against men.

Which makes it all the weirder that for decades 20th Century Fox were all like –

Yeh, let’s sell this shit to some kids.

An idea that, admittedly, wasn’t all that original in the late 80’s and early 90’s with everything from Rambo (a film about a veteran with crippling PTSD tearing out people’s throat with his bare hands) and RoboCop (a movie about a police officer who had all his limbs shotgunned off gunning down drug lords) getting both toylines and spinoff cartoons inexplicably aimed at children.

What makes the decision to do this with Alien though is that, as mentioned, the series relies so heavily and intensely disturbing sexual imagery and has always been marketed, first and foremost, as a horror franchise. Which probably has you, our gentle and big-dicked reader, wondering “That’s all well and good but what does that have to do with Pepsi?

Well perhaps the most baffling Alien tie-in is a largely forgotten Pepsi commercial from the early 1990’s designed to build hype for the wheezing, wet fart known as Alien 3. A decision that is bewildering for a number of reasons but mostly because the Alien series is set in a dystopian cyberpunk future where mega-corporations like Pepsi are explicitly shown to be the bad guys. Hell, there’s even a deleted scene in Alien: Resurrection where a character jokes that the evil super-company from the first 3 movies was bought out by fucking Walmart.

Then you have the fact that the ad stars young teens dressed in the most 90’s attire imaginable being preyed upon by the titular Alien. An Alien they are able to prevent from gutting them like a fish by giving it a nice cool can of Pepsi. No, seriously.

Amazingly the company had no idea how bad it looked to have cinema’s most prolific fictional sex predator absolutely loving their product and released not only that ad, but a number of print ones too. Because nothing says down with the kids like giving a giant rubber sex monster a can of your product.