Elvis Presley is primarily known for two things, being such a popular singer that his first single was played on repeat for 2 hours straight and being a lard-ass of legendary proportions. Arguably the most famous example of the latter is the time Elvis flew across the country to eat like 20 sandwiches.
Not just any sandwich mind you, a sandwich so delicious it has reached almost mythical status in certain, rather greasy circles, the Fool’s Gold Loaf. Containing somewhere in the region of eight fucking thousand calories, the Fool’s Gold Loaf is basically an affront to God in sandwich form. Created primarily as a joke to see if someone would be willing to pay 50 dollars for a sandwich, the Fool’s Gold Loaf contains a pound of fried bacon shoved inside a whole loaf of bread along with a jar of peanut butter, some grape jelly and a handful of butter. If that sounds at all appealing, congratulations on having your colon replaced with a solid gold, laxative coated tube.
Created by a then-teenager called, Nick Andurlakis sometime in the 70’s, the Fool’s Gold Loaf became something of a legend in the Denver area with countless drunken teenagers attempting to tackle the mammoth sandwich over the years. Eventually tales of this amazing, world destroying sandwich reached Elvis’ big-ass house in Graceland while he was entertaining a couple of guests who just so happened to be Denver policeman.
After enquiring about this curious sandwich and hearing them rave about how amazing and not at all disgusting it was, Elvis decided that he absolutely needed to eat one right the fuck now. He then had one of them call the restaurant personally to special order 22 of them, which the restaurant was happy to do because it was Elvis and he ate there all the time. He then called up a nearby airfield where his personal jet was being stored and told his pilot he’d be there in a few minutes to fly to Denver, and this is the important part, to eat a sandwich.
About an hour later, Elvis and his guests were sat in a private hanger waiting for their sandwiches, which were personally delivered by the owner of the restaurant. Elvis, being the nice guy he was, invited the owner to dine with him and his guests because holy shit, he had like 22 of them. Elvis, being Elvis also invited his pilots to indulge their sweet tooth before washing the whole mess down with a couple of bottles of champagne and flying back to Memphis. All in all he’d spent just 3 hours in Denver before leaving, in that time he and his friends ate and drank the equivalent of 80 days worth of calories without ever leaving the airport.
So the next time you feel bad for raiding the fridge at 2 in the morning, just remember that Elvis once flew 1000 miles across America to eat 20 sandwiches because he was kind of hungry and wanted some bacon. When that’s your reaction to being hungry, you can’t even say you have an addiction to food, you have a commitment.
