Obama loved it when people fouled him at basketball


According to various reports and interviews given during and after his presidency, during his time as Leader of the Free World Barack Obama spent a considerable amount of his time dunking on various members of his cabinet. Oddly, contrary to what you’d expect given the fact he was the fucking president, Obama always insisted that his staff try their hardest to whup his ass.

Now you’d think whupping a 50 year old man at a sport that requires both the ability to leap half a dozen feet into the air and dash past fridge-sized men with cheetah-like speed would be a fairly simple task. However, Obama, who played ball in college, was no slouch on the court and he reportedly went out of his way to hone his skills by letting it be known amongst his staff that he was always ready to style on a motherfucker.

To this end Obama filled his cabinet with men he knew had played ball in college so that he always had a healthy pool of opponents and frequently invited current and former NBA stars to the White House so that he could cut his teeth against the best ballers the world had to offer. We’re assuming Obama stopped just short of using the full weight of his swaggering president-penis to have himself cast as the star of a Space Jam sequel.

According to those lucky enough to have balled with Obama, playing against the Leader of the Free World is a nerve-wracking experience due to Obama’s swarming offence-orientated style of play and win-at-all costs attitude. In regards to the latter it’s reported that one of the few things Obama hated more than losing was people not taking the game seriously.

As you can imagine getting people to go hard against the fucking president wasn’t always easy and it’s noted that a number of people invited to play pickup games against Obama felt like that had to take it easy on him. This supposedly annoyed Obama to no end and would result in him trash talking the ever loving shit out of his opponents to goad them into playing better.

During his time as president Obama’s pickup games became the stuff of White House legend and it’s known that the president would regularly schedule games with his cabinet members and aides who had their own private email thread where they’d arrange games and shit on each other’s skills.

When playing games Obama always insisted that everyone treat him like an ordinary guy, going as far to wave away his own Secret Service detail when they tried to stop people crowding him, telling them it was all part of the game. Obama reportedly enjoyed the hustle and bustle of pickup games so much that when a guy called Rey Decerega elbowed him right in the face during a particularly heated game (an injury that resulted in the then president needing 12 fucking stitches) Obama found the whole thing hilarious. So much so that upon discovering a White House photographer had captured the exact moment the hit occurred he had it framed and sent to Decerega with a note congratulating him on being the first man in history to clock the president and get away with it.

Apparently Obama was a big fan of doing this and there are stories of photographers capturing the exact moment he crossed someone up or dunked on them which he would then similarly have framed and sent to the person as a gift.