The Human Torch never showers or brushes his teeth


Johnny Storm is a Marvel superhero with the ability to generate an almost unlimited amount of super-heated plasma from his own body, a power that the hero uses almost daily, because why the fuck wouldn’t you? As it turns out though part of the reason Storm uses his power so much is because it means that he never needs to shower.¬†

A founding member of the Fantastic Four who has been appearing in comics for well over half a century at this point, the Human Torch’s powers have steadily gotten more and more ridiculous to the point he’s basically invincible. At least when he’s on fire.

Oddly enough, not many people feel comfortable attacking a man made of flame.

This is because when Johnny Storm “flames on” he is no longer hu

fman, but a living mass of plasma shaped like a man which means that, so long as he is aflame, virtually nothing can hurt him. In fact, when Storm is in his so-called plasma form, most attacks will pass harmlessly through his body, that is if they can even get close to him at all considering he can casually generate the same kind of heat as a star and fly at half the speed of sound.

Now as you might imagine, spending half his time as living plasma means that Johnny Storm is immune to virtually all known Earthly diseases since his body naturally burns away any bacteria, viruses or parasites that might be in his body when he assumes his plasma form. Which must help Johnny Storm when it comes to the ladies because it means a literal side-effect of his powers is that he can never get an STD.

It gets better for Storm though because¬†another¬†side-effect of his powers is that any and all dirt and grime present on his body is similarly burned away when he sets himself on fire. For this reason, Johnny Storm notably never needs to shower, since his powers result in him being perpetually squeaky clean anyway. Likewise, in one comic, Storm sheepishly admits in one comic that he hasn’t needed to clean his teeth since he got his powers. When asked why, he explains that because his powers result in germs and first being, quite literally, burned away, all he has to do is flame on for a second to give himself fresh breath. Which while, admittedly, isn’t the most impressive thing Johnny Storm can do with his powers, does probably save him like an hour a day.