That time a man arrested the fucking President for speeding

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We don’t think anyone would disagree that it takes a lot of balls to stand up to someone with the power to end your career with a single word. With that in mind it’s arguable that the largest set of balls in history belonged to a police officer called, William H. West, a man noted as being the only person to have ever arrested a sitting president. 

A thing to note is that the genesis of this relatively harmless historical footnote was a series of accidents involving speeding horses and carriages, one of which had resulted in a young mother and her child being seriously injured. Something police officer William H. West was not at all happy about and prompted him to make catching speeders his absolute number one priority.

“Fuck around and find out.” William H. West, probably.

A goal that resulted in West having an opportunity to do something countless Americans would give their left nut to witness, let alone do, talk shit directly to the president. You see, shortly after endeavouring to catch and punish every person speeding in DC, West spied Ulysses S. Grant careening through DC in his carriage at a speed that only be described as, Fast and Furious-esque.

Annoyed West flagged Grant down and told him very matter of factly to cut that shit out, something Grant was reportedly astonished to hear, sheepishly apologising to West and promising that it wouldn’t happen again.

Beard.

West was reportedly satisfied with this apology and let the president off with a warning, an almost impossibly massive flex that is unlikely to ever be topped considering what happened next.

You see, despite promising not to speed again, Grant did exactly that the very next day. Something he likely would have gotten away with if he hadn’t made the mistake of speeding through an area West happened to be patrolling. Recognising the carriage and annoyed at being lied to, West chased the carriage down again. Presumably on foot to assert the maximum amount of dominance on Grant.

After cornering Grant a second time, West informed the president that he was under arrest and would have to pay a $20 fine. Amazingly, despite being the fucking president, Grant went with West to the police station and sat quietly as he was booked and fined. All while West superiors mused out loud if they were even able to charge a sitting president with a crime. Not that this really mattered because Grant, no doubt humbled by the experience, did not contest the charges and paid the fine without incident.

The story gets just a little better though because after he was booked and charged, Grant’s horse and carriage were seized meaning he had to walk back to the White House. No doubt whilst West watched sternly from a distance like a sea captain watching a harpooned whale shit itself to death.